A beautiful fellow blogger and loss mom, Carly Marie, has started a healing project called Capture Your Grief. The idea is to express your grief through pictures each day of the month of October because this is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I’ve decided to participate even though I missed Day 1 (the assigned subject was “Sunrise.” Anyone surprised I missed it?) because I’ve been wanting to get back to this space but I needed a little push. Along with hundreds of others, I’ll be following a list of assigned subjects for each day this month, as suggested by the CYG Project. So here goes:

Capture Your Grief Day 2: Before Loss Self-Portait

This was taken Valentine’s Day weekend 2011 by Jeremy (so not exactly a self-portrait, I guess), just two weeks after we found out I was pregnant and just 5 days before we found out it was triplets. It was a magical day filled vegan goodness- a vegan restaurant we’d never tried, a trip to Animal Acres Farm Sanctuary to visit a turkey we sponsored and named Luke (after my nephew), and vegan soft serve ice cream on the way home! We were pretty giddy all day. We were having a baby. I even bought a cute little 2T “peace begins on the plate” tank top at the sanctuary. Did I mention I was sure it was a girl? That was until I went on a walk a couple of days later, listening, or at least trying to listen to Alanis Morissette. I couldn’t find a song by her I liked anymore and kept skipping around trying to find one I could play to the end. Nails on a chalk board. I was crushed since she’s my fave and immediately called Jer. “I think it’s a boy. I can’t listen to Alanis anymore.” ❤ ❤ ❤