I’ve wanted a blog for a while now. Years actually. Every time I’d get up the enthusiasm to start one life would take a harsh turn and I’d lose the interest and energy to do anything extra. This year I was determined to have a blog. Nothing would stop me- no turn was harsh enough to take away this desire to write. Enter harsh turn….

A positive pregnancy test. Well that’s not so harsh. After all, the husband and I have been married over 10 years now. We love each other deeply. We’ve gotten through the hard times and are stronger for it. Nope it wasn’t the positive pregnancy test that did it. Or the first prenatal visit where everything looked normal and good. It was round about the second prenatal visit. I go every two weeks because I have Lupus so I’m considered high risk. Jeremy, my husband, goes with me as often as possible because this is his first kid too and we have lots of questions and concerns and it’s exciting. So on the second prenatal visit our doctor, Dr. Chao, is looking around on the ultrasound and her eyes widen and she asks us “Any twins in the family?” Jer and I both shout “NO!” as if somehow we can will away what she’s seeing. Just as the waves of “Oh my God there are twins!” are hitting us she says, “Actually, I see a third.” There it is. There’s the harsh turn. TRIPLETS.

So now here I am, almost 10 weeks in. The harsh turn isn’t stopping me from writing but it did knock me out for a minute. Of course on the one hand, the pressure and desire to blog increased with the news because this insane event must be chronicled! On the other hand, a blog about triplets is not what I intended to write, as you may have guessed by the mod vegan moniker. So I guess this will be a little of everything. The triplets, yes, given. But also what it means to be a vegan on this journey- how, if at all, it affects prenatal care. Raising vegan kids- or rather will I raise vegan kids (my husband, though pescatarian, is not vegan)? And what of my personal style? Is that gone now? Does my modern pad become a giant kid zone complete with plastic slide?

I don’t know the answers to all of those questions yet. This is my first pregnancy. We weren’t even trying to get pregnant and I wasn’t taking any fertility meds. We had pretty much decided after many years of debate that one child would be nice, enough. That we’d maybe try later this year. The fact that we hit the jackpot after one indiscretion when we’d been careful for TEN YEARS is still shocking. We are apparently freakishly fertile. I’m 34 and I’ve read that as you go later into the 30s it’s common to drop additional eggs. Still seems crazy that all 3 of said eggs were fertilized but it is what it is. All that’s to say that not only am I a newbie at the mother thing, but the triplet thing is a whole other animal I have yet to wrap my brain around. I’m hoping writing it out will help with that too.

I’m in a writer’s group through my church and earlier this year I wrote a poem that I promised myself would be a part of first blog entry. I was planning to start this in January, but like I said I was knocked out for awhile there. So March will have to do. Enjoy.

Another Year Gone

Another year gone, slipped away.
Resolutions rise up from phantom failures:
Do more, weigh less, try harder, look better.
Determination sets in:
Be anything but you.

January brings hope, newness, the promise of change.
Anything seems possible in January. We’ve got the
Whole year to get it right.
To figure out how to
Be anywhere but here.

May brings panic.
Almost half the year gone. How has
Nothing changed?
Crash diets and impending doom and you wish to
Be in any body but yours.

October brings a deadline. The year’s
Almost up.
Reassess. Is anything salvageable? Are you?
This month goes double time and you wonder can you
Be anyone’s picture of good?

Back to the beginning: January.
Failure-filled December hearts empty with the promise of a new year.
The change for you is clear. A brave step toward a fragile thought:
Contentment. Your toes sink in, a connection is made, and you wonder: could there
Be anyplace more beautiful than here?